a token “stuff kids say” post

by my three year-old:

“I don’t want you to smile, or laugh, or say anything.”

“Well…it’s not a problem. Well, actually, it IS a problem. Why is it a problem?”

“Ooooohhhhhh nnnnnnnnooooooooooo. The scary guts monsters!”

“She has blowouts.”

“Wha ya say?”

“I appreciatcha.”

“I’m proud of you.”

“It’s okay to be sad.”

“Um, I just want you to come upstairs. Just because I love you.”

“Mommy? Where are ya-a-a-a-a-a-a-a.”

“It’s sticky red goo. Purple… red goo.”

“From Santa Claus I want a candycane and some tape with stickiness on it.”

“Why are you going to school? So you can help some people? Cause they’re sad? A mommy and a daddy? They get frustrated?”

“I tried harder and harder!”

“You don’t need a timeout dad.”

What have your kids said lately?

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About shenpa warrior

"Patience is not learned in safety." View all posts by shenpa warrior

22 responses to “a token “stuff kids say” post

  • alice

    He is adorable.

    My kids say funny things, but I need some decompressing time after 4th grade math homework before I can think happy thoughts again.

  • Kate

    Oh, man, has my almost-4-year-old said some funny stuff.

    Me: Where did you get that monster truck car?
    J: Dad got it for me. You weren’t there. You were still in your mommy’s tummy and Daddy and I were having a Daddy-Josh date.

    J:</i. I'm the mommy doggy and I'm sitting on my eggs. I want to make them hatch.
    Me: Doggies don’t lay eggs. Only birdies and snakes.
    J: Well, this doggie lays eggs.

    J: God gave me my nose.
    Me: Oh? Did God give you Daddy’s nose or Momma’s nose?
    J: God gave me Daddy’s nose, cuz mine hasn’t got any rings in it.

    J: Mommy, I want some more kids.
    Me: Do you want a baby brother or sister?
    J: No, I want a big boy brother that is my size.

  • adamf

    Interesting, I can “like” my own post… for what? Also, I like this theme a lot but the comments are really small…

  • Hannah

    L: I’m going to marry Taya when I grow up.
    S: TOO LATE! I already asked her.

    ….the fighting over girls begins. 🙂

    Also S talks about his friend down the street that moved away and said, “I sure miss that guy!”

    And B is sitting with my brother recently and my bro asks him, “Do you know my name?”
    “yeah”
    “What is it?”
    “Poop.”

    Gotta love kids. I laugh everyday.

  • alice

    CP just said to me, “I’m totally awesome”.

    It’s true…

  • Madame Curie

    My absolute favorite two things my boy says are: “Accidents happen, Mama” (usually after he’s had one) and “Do you forgive me?” (he gets really upset if you don’t immediately answer, “Of course I forgive you!” Sensitive soul).

  • shenpa warrior

    “I’m using my hands for a musical instrument. My band is called ‘What in the World has Gone.’ I’m playing my fiddle. You came to my band. You’re supposed to be here so you can watch me dance.”

    “I have my snack in my pocket so when I go to sleep I can put my treat on one side and my water on the other side.”

  • Alice

    CP calls all remote controls wii remotes. 🙂

  • katekadash

    This is my favorite ongoing blog post ever 🙂

  • shenpa warrior

    Here’s another one. 🙂

    Son: “I want the FROG PLATE”

    Mom: “It’s dirty, so you’ll have to use another plate.”

    Son: “But I want the frog plate!”

    Mom: “Sorry, but it’s dirty. You can’t use it.”

    Son: “I didn’t like it when I wanted the frog plate and you got mad.”

  • Madame Curie

    “I hear my poopy coming!”

    “I have a poopy! Do you want to see it?”

  • prinsesstarta

    (context: kiddo is 3 or so, has his first glass of rootbeer in ages — nutritional fascist mother phase — and a housefly commits suicide into it)

    “Mom, there’s a fly in my rootbeer. If you know anyone with a bug in their mouth, you can give them my rootbeer.”

  • shenpa warrior

    Mom: “What were you doing?”

    Son: “I just got married.”

    Mom: “Who did you marry?”

    Son: “I got married to Gus [the stuffed turtle] in the temple.”

  • Kate

    [Context: Walking J to school in the cold. He is being pushed in his stroller, and is wearing a 3-layer winter coat, hat, gloves, scarf, AND has a blanket tucking him in. Hubby and I are pushing him]

    J: I wish we had a car.

    Me: Well, even if we had a car, we would still walk you to school. We need the exercise.

    J: I already get exercise!

    Me: Not you, kiddo. Your fatty parents.

    —-

    [When I give him a kiss goodnight]

    “Its sleepy time, Mom, NOT kissing time!”

    —-

    “Let’s count the lights! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, a hundred million!”

    —-

    J: “Dad! Come look!”

    Dad: “What, Bud?”

    J: “Dad! I have a penis.”

    Dad (said with real excitement): “Congratulations! That’s great!”

  • shenpa warrior

    After his balloon popped: “It was silly when it popped, and also a little bit sad.”

    Trying to explain earthquakes and tectonic plates to him: “we need to keep those far apart from each other.”

  • Adam

    After taking a time out (to calm down, not for punishment) he said “My heart told my throat to plug up and stop the tears.”

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