Don’t touch the campaign sign!

Back in the 80’s my parents had a ‘Dukakis for President’ sign in their yard. I can recall it frequently being the target of unwanted 7-11 slurpees. When my father ran for a position on the city counsel, his signs were often stolen. And more recently, when my parents supported a democrat for the Utah senate race, their signs were defaced. I have to admit I tried to think of many elaborate ways to catch and punish these cruel perpetrators, including hiring someone full time to watch the signs, installing video cameras, and electrifying the signs with a few thousand volts. However, the unfortunate nature of campaigns is that signs get stolen, defaced, or dumped on by tasty beverages (what a waste!).

Recently, in podunk Grantsville, Utah (I’m only saying podunk because the citizens there better be outraged about this, or they are podunk), a former campaign manager was sentenced to six months in jail and nine months probation FOR STEALING A CAMPAIGN SIGN! Even I, one who thinks that campaign sign stealers probably deserve at least the 5th circle of hell, think that it is too extreme. Why not just fine these filthy thieves a few hundred bucks. Isn’t that a good enough deterrent? Grantsville is officially now on my list of “podunk, creepy, good-place-to-film-a-horror-movie cities list.”

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About shenpa warrior

"Patience is not learned in safety." View all posts by shenpa warrior

2 responses to “Don’t touch the campaign sign!

  • WP

    Adding to the quality or state of ‘podunkness’, remember Energy Solutions is out there with their ‘nukler’ waste site. Safe Harbors has a hazardous incineration site in Tooele County and a toxic burial site near Delle UT. Wal Wart has their distribution center in G-ville and Magnesium Corp pumps hundreds of tons or chlorine gas, (a WMD in WW I) into the air on a daily basis. They have an EG&G plant that incinerates nerve agent GB and others for the US Army. Some of the munitions are leaking and cannot be handled safely. All together we have the greatest stockpile of CAM outside of the former Soviet Union. (CAM is Chemical Agent Munitions.) We have the Dugway Proving Grounds out near G-ville that still has hot sites of mustard gas left untreated and not deconned. 30,000 sheep died out there in the 60’s because nerve agent got out. I think Tooele County was most recently the 2nd most polluted county in the USA. Of course we should remember these facilities all bring jobs and employment to the area, and they contribute heavily to R members our Utah State Legislature. Do you think former Miss America, Sharlene Wells has a house in G-ville or Tooele County? She has done very nice ads for Energy Solutions. She ought to think about living there too.

  • adam

    Maybe all that ‘nukler’ junk out their affects the decision making center of the brain in humans. It’s a nice bio-environmental explanation for the judge’s ruling.

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